The Al-anon Solution - Breaking the Cycle

The World Health Organisation tells us that ‘alcohol use increases the occurrence and severity of domestic violence’. At Al-Anon Family Group meetings we support individuals and families who have a relative or friend with a drinking problem and hear many stories about domestic violence. We believe that ‘alcoholism is a family illness’ and that our program can help family members to make healthier choices, take better care of themselves and find serenity.
Al-Anon Family Groups is a 12 step fellowship that offers mutual support, literature and online/face to face meetings. Members share their experience, strength and hope with each other. The program offers tools and support to aid recovery. The Al-Anon program opens every meeting by saying…
‘We who live or have lived with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment and even happiness….we urge you to try our program. It has helped many of us find solutions that lead to serenity’ How Al-Anon Works p 8
Our 2018 Worldwide Al-Anon Member Survey found that 56% of Al-Anon members had experienced abuse and 11% still experience abuse. Al-Anon members have shared that with Al-Anon’s support they were able to take the following steps to protect themselves ….

1.Seeking help
“Five years into my marriage, as my husband’s drinking increased, he became extremely abusive. I sought help from the family physician and psychiatrist but the doctors couldn’t help me and I felt hopeless. During a violent episode, I escaped - in total panic - to a friend’s house, where I was introduced to Al-Anon literature….After a month, desperate, I went to my first Al-Anon meeting. I was amazed: the people there knew how I felt: they even expressed my feelings!”

2.No longer blaming myself
“When violence first occurred in my marriage, I truly thought that it was my fault and that I should never say or do anything to anger my alcoholic husband………... However, his violence brought me to Al-Anon where I learned that I didn’t cause the disease of alcoholism, I can’t control it and I can’t cure it. I no longer have to blame myself for another person’s actions...Al-Anon has literally saved my life”

3.Removing myself from battles
“No matter what, no one has the right to physically abuse anyone else….Talking to a person who is in rage is a waste of time. I’m better off talking to my Al-Anon sponsor instead.”

4.Following through
“I had my husband arrested not to punish him, but for my own protection. It was the hardest thing I had ever done in my whole life, but my self-esteem had grown through Al-Anon that I would no longer accept abuse”

5.Taking a stand
“Al-Anon helped me to focus my attention on what I could do about my situation instead of concentrating all my attention on what I thought the alcoholic should do. I was the one who had to take the stand”
It takes great courage to take the risk and go to that first Al-Anon meeting. It isn’t easy to go against old beliefs and fears and reach out to other people for strength, guidance and support. Finding the willingness to admit that we need help can be one of the greatest challenges we ever face, but it can be one of the most rewarding. When we finally realise that we are sick and tired of being sick and tired, we open a door to unlimited possibilities for change, for hope and for a happier, richer life. How Al-Anon Works p. 10