On New Year’s Day in 2017, my then boyfriend broke my nose and fractured my cheek. Back then, I didn’t think gay men were eligible for support as domestic violence only happens to heterosexual woman. When I did get help, I had to come out to each support service, which was exhausting. Some didn’t know what to do with me as I wasn’t a woman. While in recent years, there has been good progress in raising awareness that LGBTIAQ+ people can experience domestic violence, I knew Australia could do better – come on, didn’t we achieve Marriage Equality? Travelling to the UK, Canada and New Zealand as part of a Churchill Fellowship in 2023, I spoke to people and organisations who have been helping LGBTIAQ+ survivors for more than two decades. LGBTIAQ+ health organisations, mainstream domestic violence support services, government departments, police, academics, fellow survivors, and others shared their experiences with me. What I learnt, wasn’t what I expected. In fact, I found some of it confronting, as a gay man and LGBTIAQ+ advocate. LGBTIAQ+ health services were not necessarily the best way to support survivors. It’s much bigger that that. We need to reshape the way we support LGBTIAQ+ survivors. New Zealand, Canada and the UK are doing this now. It’s about a triple track approach to support – we need to empower survivors. But how? Let’s provide them choice through mainstream, LGBTIAQ+ focused or gender specific support services. But it’s not as straightforward as that. We know heteronormative frameworks need to be challenged. Policy makers and support services too. And even LGBTIAQ+ people ourselves. But we must start a discussion, even if we don’t not want to.