Shame: We Need To Talk. Working With Shame Without Shaming The Person Or Family
Tracks
Room 3: In-Person Only
| Monday, November 24, 2025 |
| 4:10 PM - 5:10 PM |
Overview
Michael Derby, Sexual Assault And Family Violence Centre
Details
1. Understand the evidence base of why shame occurs and identify different presentations of shame – from the person and family who have been harmed, to the person who has caused harm.
2. Learn and understand interventions that professionals can use to support people to work through the shame they are facing. This includes people who have been harmed as well as people who have caused harm.
3. Implementation of how to work with shame – has confidence and skills to put into practice the interventions taught and how they can apply to their work context.
Speaker
Mr Michael Derby
Manager Of Practice And Development
Sexual Assault And Family Violence Centre
Shame: We Need to talk. Working with Shame without shaming the person or family
Presentation Overview
Much of the power of shame comes from the fact that we try to avoid it and don’t address it head on. Shame and secrecy often go hand in hand, and because we don’t talk about it, shame grows. Shame can get in way for people who have been harmed or who are causing harm, leading to reduced access in services, healing and support (Arrows 2022).
Not engaging with shame can also silence the systems and practitioners helping adults and families who are recovering from family violence . When a person who has caused harm does not acknowledge and engage with shame, the shame can become caught in the system, leaving the person who has been harmed to suffer the painful feelings of misplaced shame.
In partnership with Innovative resources, we have considered the difficulties practitioners face when working with children, young people, adults and families who are experiencing family violence. The workshop will examine the evidence base on shame, how and why shame occurs, different shame presentations for survivors of family violence, as well as how shame presents when someone has caused significant harm to an individual and to the family.
The workshop will include the presentation of various media clips to demonstrated different shame responses, followed by small group discussions and role plays, where participants can practice using tools and interventions to support families to re-connect and heal from the harm and shame, they have faced.
Reference:
Anrows (2022). ‘Carrying the burden alone’: Victims and survivors speak up about what inhibits healing and recovery from violence. [online] ANROWS - Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety. Available at: https://www.anrows.org.au/media-releases/carrying-the-burden-alone-victims-and-survivors-speak-up-about-what-inhibits-healing-and-recovery-from-violence/ [Accessed 23 Sep. 2024].
Not engaging with shame can also silence the systems and practitioners helping adults and families who are recovering from family violence . When a person who has caused harm does not acknowledge and engage with shame, the shame can become caught in the system, leaving the person who has been harmed to suffer the painful feelings of misplaced shame.
In partnership with Innovative resources, we have considered the difficulties practitioners face when working with children, young people, adults and families who are experiencing family violence. The workshop will examine the evidence base on shame, how and why shame occurs, different shame presentations for survivors of family violence, as well as how shame presents when someone has caused significant harm to an individual and to the family.
The workshop will include the presentation of various media clips to demonstrated different shame responses, followed by small group discussions and role plays, where participants can practice using tools and interventions to support families to re-connect and heal from the harm and shame, they have faced.
Reference:
Anrows (2022). ‘Carrying the burden alone’: Victims and survivors speak up about what inhibits healing and recovery from violence. [online] ANROWS - Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety. Available at: https://www.anrows.org.au/media-releases/carrying-the-burden-alone-victims-and-survivors-speak-up-about-what-inhibits-healing-and-recovery-from-violence/ [Accessed 23 Sep. 2024].
Biography
Michael is an accredited Mental Health Social Worker and Clinical Family Therapist with over 17 years’ experience supporting children, young people, and families impacted by trauma, including family violence and sexual abuse. He works with adults who have caused harm and addresses harmful sexual behaviors with young people. Michael developed training on sexual abuse for Victoria’s Child Protection system, created the therapeutic tool Exploring Shame and contributed to the Victorian Government’s Inquiry into Historic Childhood Sexual Abuse. Michael is Manager of Practice and Development at SAFVC , runs Private practice, and serves on the AASW Ethics and AAFT Management Boards.
