Lou Feltham Smith escaped a ten-year relationship marked by coercive control and non-physical abuse. At the time, she didn’t believe it was “bad enough” to be called domestic violence. There were no bruises or broken bones. Just confusion, fear, and a growing sense that something was deeply wrong. Like many survivors, Lou felt she needed a visible injury to justify leaving. But when she finally fled with nothing but her three children and a suitcase, the real battle began.

She quickly discovered that the systems designed to protect her could also be weaponised against her, manipulated by the very person she was trying to escape.

Now the Founder of Miracle Mums Movement Inc., a charity supporting mums recovering from domestic abuse, Lou brings a powerful perspective to the conversation. One that bridges lived experience, post-traumatic growth, and survivor-led insight into the dynamics of abuse.

In this session, Lou will share how perpetrators often present as calm and cooperative, while their victims, traumatised and afraid, are frequently misunderstood. Their trauma responses are minimised, their fears dismissed, and their safety concerns overlooked. Lou will explore how this dynamic can lead professionals to unintentionally enable further harm, and what can be done to prevent it.

Drawing on her lived experience and years of advocacy, Lou offers a practical and trauma-informed framework that frontline workers, legal professionals, and decision-makers can use to better identify manipulation tactics, interpret trauma responses, and create safer, more accountable systems.

Attendees will walk away with:

* A deeper understanding of how coercive control continues post-separation
* Clear strategies to recognise survivor and perpetrator behaviour patterns
* Survivor-informed tools to reduce system misuse and improve safety outcomes

This is a powerful call to action from someone who has lived it. Because once you see it, you can’t unsee it.